Forgiving Hearts

I’ve been so to read & keep up with current chapters of A Confident Heart. I take it slow, look up the stories surrounding the bible verses in the book, & meditate on them. One part spoke to me louder than others. It stayed in the front of my mind the strongest. The other day, I learned why…

A high school friend of mine just received news that her biological mother was not doing well. She posted, “I have not been a part of her life for a long time for different reasons. They are not sure how long she has. She has cirrhosis of the liver and emphysema. She has been sick for years. The doctors did not expect her to live a year 5 years ago. I know that there is a reason she is still here. I am not sure if its because there are things that need to be said or what. I am not sure if she knows our Lord and savior. I have so many questions with not many answers. I just pray that what ever I am supposed to do I do. I do not want to live with regret. Please pray that I will do what the Lord wants. Also, please pray for her, that she would find peace and do what she needs to do.”

I felt it was time to share my story & messaged her privately (not everything is meant for the world). FRIEND, I am by no means trying to persuade you one way or another. But hear my story & decide for yourself. My Mom was an alcoholic and we rarely got along without having harsh words or bitter blow ups. It was more than just the alcohol, but I won’t pester you with the details. The point is, I didn’t feel loved or feel like I loved her. I did love her, but it never felt like the mother-daughter love that I expected to feel. (If that makes sense). Point is, even when she was dying, I felt we both pushed each other away. The night before she died, she had a smile moment of clarity (cancer was in her brain & she had trouble staying conscious) she squeezed my hand, nodded, & said “I’m ok. I love you”. This took nearly 5 minutes for her to say. I tried to talk to her more, but I couldn’t get her to stay awake. She died a few hours later. My advice is this. Death is final in this world. If you feel you need to tell her something, maybe God is trying to tell you “now is your chance”. I still cry & ache nearly everyday missing my mom. Not so much for what was but for what I wanted. I wanted to love her like my kids love me. She is your mom. Love her & tell her goodbye. Maybe your love & Gods light shining through you is what she needs if she’s not saved. I’m so I’m rambling, but I felt like I should let you know my experience. I am praying for all of you. Take care Sister. The book of Isaiah was really weighing on me today. I guess you’re exactly who God needed me to talk to. I don’t want you to have regrets & what ifs. If I could do it again, I would say so much more. I know the bitterness is there & it IS hard, but I strongly urge you to pray & then find closure for both of y’all. Don’t wait til it’s too late like I did. Trust me when I say, it’s a terrible, crushing weight of regret. Pride got in my way. I’m glad telling you means a lot. It means so much to me to get it off my chest. I love you girl. Take care.

She responded, “WOW! Sounds just like my story!!! Almost exactly! I just want to make sure I say my part and dont want to regret anything. my children do not know her. which is so sad. I am upset with her for the way she chose to live her life but I can only do my part. We are going to florida on the 22nd of November anyway, but I am trying to decide if I should go sooner. Thank you for telling me your story, it really means a lot! I for sure do not want to carry that weight around. Who knows may God wants me to tell her about him? I just want to make sure I do the right thing. Thank you for listening.”

PLEASE…. I ask for extra prayers for her & her mother & her whole family. I pray they all find peace & forgiveness in each other through Christ. Thank you so much in advance.

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Blog Hop Topics for Proverbs 31

Topics:

#perfectlove~ Define #perfectlove and share a personal story/example of the #perfectlove in your life.

I recently wrote a Blog post on this about two trees. Here’s the sample below.

“Roosevelt brought up a very good visual. Imagine 2 trees if you will (I’m adding a bit to this). Ok, 1st tree is tall & straight. Your standard tree you could say. The 2nd tree, it starts out growing straight up like the other one, but something happened. Something made it bend & start growing horizontally, rather than vertically. Over time, & a good bit of growing out horizontally, the tree finally started to grow vertically again until it reach it’s full height.  Growing our children are kind of the same way. If they grow up, growing like we (the parents) did, they’ll grow straight up. Not only through discipline & manners, but in God’s teachings as well. They “grew up right”. If we don’t help our kids. Guide them. Teach them. “Help” them to “grow straight”, then they’ll be like the 2nd tree, & grow up in the only path that they know. The path that they learned themselves.”

Noppers, it doesn’t talk about perfect love, but it is a remainder of the perfect love the God gives to us daily. He is always teaching and molding us to be “straight” and on the path to Him. But along the way, we sometimes ‘think we see a shortcut’ or ‘we know better’ or ‘this path over here looks like more fun’. In this process, we tend to ‘bend’ a little (or in some cases, a lot). But God is always there with his unending patience to guide His children where He wants them.
Isaiah 49:23~ Unpack our Verse for the week.

“And kings shall be thy nursing fathers, and their queens thy nursing mothers: they shall bow down to thee with their face toward the earth, and lick up the dust of thy feet; and thou shalt know that I am the LORD: for they shall not be ashamed that wait for me.”

No matter whether you are a King or a servant, we all serve and are obedient to the One True King! We will bow to Him and serve only Him!
I Believe~ In order for change to take place, we have to first believe it is possible. Refute your own thoughts of doubt with declarations of faith.

I believe…that my faith will grow during this Bible Study.
I believe…my family will benefit in God’s way through my continued studies.
I believe…one day, doubt will not disable me from reaching my potential in life.
I believe…I will gain better confidence of myself.
I believe…I will not criticize myself over things that don’t amount to anything.
I believe…I will learn to accept God’s love and fulfill His plans that he has for me.
I believe…I will be the loving, caring mother and wife that my family needs.
I believe…I will learn to be quick to think and slow to speak the next time something negative attempts to enter my life.
I believe…


At the Well~ Reread Sam’s story in John 4, asking Jesus to meet your there and show you things in your heart that need His repair. Is there part of Renee’s story or Sam’s story that you can relate to most? (Ch. 2, Discussion #6)

Still thinking on this one. I’ll get back to you! There’s a ton to say, but I’m trying to collect my thoughts better first. LOL! 🙂